Very unfortunately, many parents believe that if you spare the rod, you would surely spoil the child.
I would beg to differ.
I do not get how, in any way, can hitting your child cause him to behave better or realize his wrong. The only thing hitting your child will do, is to cause him to feel more hatred toward you.
I remember, during my last year of Primary School (Primary Six), my extremely biased Science teacher called up my mother one day, telling a fictitious cock and bull story about how I had skipped several remedial lessons, refused to complete my work and rebutted her. Of course, my mother chose to believe my teacher.
I was at home, sitting in the study, playing with the computer, when all of a sudden, my mother burst in through the door, demanding that I tell her why I had failed to complete my assignments, played truant and was defiant. Taken aback and wrongly accused, I defended myself and, in an extremely childish and whiny tone, wailed that I had never done any of the said accusations.
She approached me, shutting the door behind her and through her gritted teeth she hissed, “Don’t lie to me.”
By then, tears were welling up in my eyes as I attempted to explain myself innocent. My mother, a hundred per cent convinced that I was the rebel my teacher described me to be, grabbed a wooden back scratcher and commanded for me to put my hand out. As any kid would, I did not want my hand to be hid, so I tucked my hand nicely behind my back, only for my mother to hit my legs instead.
Each time she demanded for my hand and I did not do so, she hit my leg once more. For every stroke of the cane, I only felt angrier.
Another incident I vividly recall, which also took place during my last year of Primary School. I was on the way to church with my sister, my mum playing the role of the chauffer. My sister and I were bickering as we always would and she, as per usual, got away with everything by doing the ‘smarter’ thing and giving all the snide remarks and menacing glares from behind my mother’s back. Furious and blood boiled, I yelled what I had no idea was a cuss word at her (the word, by the way, is ‘guailan’, Hokkien for ‘attitude’. no idea why it is considered a profanity). Out of nowhere, my mother delivered a stinging slap to my cheek. She yelled at me that I was grounded. I had no clue as to why. I just remember feeling extremely agitated and even more angry than I was before, just that this time, at my mother.
So, really, how does hitting a child teach him? I think the way to teach children would be to explain why what he did was wrong. I am absolutely against hitting children. Sure, a spank on the butt or a little slap on the arm is fine, but to hit so hard that it leaves a mark is wrong. I think it is a horrible form of disciplining a child! If the parent makes a habit out of it, one day, the parent is going to hit the child harder than intended and thus leaving the child horribly scarred both physically and mentally for life.
Hitting a child… It is also really hypocritical of a parent to do so. Parents, of course, are against children hitting one another. However, there the parents go, hitting their children. When the child, however, hits a fellow child or someone younger than him, claiming that his mate was rude to him, disobedient… parents say that that is no excuse to hit someone. Well, if my parents hit me for being rude, why can’t I hit my little cousins for being rude to me, too?